I've Been Wandering in the Desert and Could Use a Drink of Water Please

Every other Tuesday, I go to CareNet for counseling services.  Well sord of.  I started there to get counseling for post-abortion and my counselor (who has also become my dear friend) got me started on watching videos about sexual purity and health after we had completed the post-abortion sessions.  Anyhow, this past week I had visited with her and, as I usually do during our appointed time together, I vented out whatever drama that was happening in my life whether it was emotional or actually happening.  This week's melodramatic tale included:  finding a husband, what to do about my career, having time for volunteer/ministry work, questioning if all this recovery is worth it and basically feeling completely lost in life itself.

As usual, she had insight to my issue.  This one has been the most profound yet.

"For the children of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness, till all the people who were men of war, who came out of Egypt, were consumed, because they did not obey the voice of the Lord-to whom the Lord swore that He would not show them the land which the Lord had sworn to their fathers that He would give us, 'a land flowing with milk and honey.'" Joshua 5:6

She reminded me of the Israelites who wandered the desert for forty years.  Lost, confused and feeling like they were better off as slaves than not knowing what their future held.  They were promised this great land to go to...but nothing...even though the "land flowing with milk and honey" was right in front of them.  They kept missing it because they weren't exactly submitting their whole selves to God and trusting Him that He would get them to where they were promised. 

The first thought I had was, "She's a genius!"  It was so simple.  Sometimes we claim we are giving it all and I mean ALL of it to God when we are really holding on to a small peice.  We think, "Well, I can handle this part and God can have the rest to deal with it."  The funny thing is that when God says to give whatever it is that you're going through fully to Him...He means it.  He doesn't want a quarter of it, half of it but all of it.  Even if it is a part we think we can handle on our own, we can still screw up the whole plan with even the simplest and tiniest detail. 

For a while now I have been wandering in an internal desert.  I became sober from drugs, alcohol, guilt, shame and other vices and then I became bored, confused and just plain lost in what the next step was.  I started to panic and felt like I had to hurry to do something with this new life that God was delivering me into.  I have the Promise Land right in front of me but choose to stay in bondage because I refuse to give it ALL to God. 

So the solution is quite simple:

"Give ALL your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."  1Peter 5:7