Furry Heroes

It's not a big secret that I am an animal lover.  But the reason why has been a kept secret for a very long time...until now.

As I grew up, I always had pets.  Birds, mainly, fish, frogs, and even rats.  My cousin, whom I shared a home with, had rabbits and hamsters, so between the two of us, we had our own little zoo.  I didn't get a dog until after I was married.  We first took in a sharpei mix and named her Mulan and later we inherited my ex-husband's chow mix named Jax after his mother passed away.  Then after Jax passed away came Miko. 

Most knew my ex-husband was very unkind to me.  They have witnessed much of his unpleasant behaviour but, of course, no one knew just how bad it was in private.  Most of it was verbal and mental abuse, but physical abuse would slip in every once in a while and the dogs would witness such displays of unaffection almost on a daily basis.  They spent much time hiding under the bed and I spent much time laying on the floor next to them coaxing them out any way I could, apologizing to them that I brought them into a home of such cruelty.  It wasn't fair to them and because I was afraid to do anything about the situation, they lived in fear day after day.

My guilt and shame grew and I knew that they deserved so much better.  I couldn't give them up because I was afraid of being alone and they were the only source of love I had at the time.  Well...at least that's what I thought.  There was one time where I did abandon them.  I couldn't stay any longer and left my ex-husband for a brief time and I had to leave my dogs behind.  They were in my thoughts constantly, 'How could I leave them behind with him.'  I went back, more out of fear that they would be hurt because I was gone. 

My despair grew and I was certain theirs was too.  Again, there we were, day after day...them under the bed frightened and me begging for them to come out.  But then one day something happened.  Something that would change things forever in our home and our future. 

It was a day no different than any other.  My ex-husband and I were fighting...badly.  His fist raised up right in line with my face.  I looked at him and his eyes got big, his fist came down and he backed away a little bit.  I was confused of what was happening and I looked down to see my two dogs.  One on each side of me, fur standing on end and snarling and growling so loud you could see spit foaming up and flying out.  They were ready.  If he threw that punch, they would lunge.  It was a site I, or my ex-husband, have never seen and on that day, it was the beginning of the end.

My dogs grew tired of what was happening in our home and they came to my rescue at a point when I thought I never would be.  It wasn't too long after that incident, we did rescue one more dog and we ended up in divorce.  Much to my regret (even to this day), he took Mulan and I took Miko and Sunny.  The first night Miko, Sunny and I were in our apartment, the three of us sat at the foot of the bed (which was on the floor and still remains very low to this day) and I promised no one would hurt us the way we hurt for the past ten years ever again. 

Now you know.  Why I talk about them so much, why I believe in rescuing animals, why I take a stand against animal abuse, why I believe they are good for your health...and soul.  God used two such animals.  He gave them strength and a fearlessnes to put an end to a bad situation.  In return, their fearlessness became contagious and I found the strength to leave...for good. 

These are my heroes.  So when I look at an animal, I don't just see something "oh so cute and fuzzy and adorable."  I see what compassion looks like and what great character there is to possess. 

What Are You Doing Here?

I was doing my Bible study this evening and it was a continuation of why we need proper rest.  There was a verse that stuck out but I got a different meaning from it.

"And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  1 Kings 19:9

It was the last part of the verse that caught my attention, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  I pondered that part of the verse for a moment and felt as if that question was being asked of me. 

"What are you doing here, Theresa?"
"Why are you doing what you are doing?" 
"Did I ask you to do this?"

Here I am chugging along, thinking I am doing what I thought I was suppose to be doing and God is asking what I am doing here. Apparently, I am not doing what I really am suppose to be doing. How confused could one person get?

So now it makes sense.  I have been wondering why I feel as if I am not moving ahead in ministries.  I plateaued.  Not slipping but not moving forward either.  Not necessarily feeling satisfied but not fully disappointed either.  I am not sure what it is that I expect but something is stirring that something needs to change and God has been waving a big red flag in front of me but I chose to ignore Him.  Well tonight He finally has my attention, so the next question is, "Ok God.  What do you want me to do?  Where am I suppose to go?"

It's so simple.  All we have to do is ask and.....

"The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."  Proverbs 16:9