I Say I Can't....For Some Reason, You Say I Can

"Then Moses said to the Lord, 'Oh my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant;  but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.'"  So the Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth?  Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind?  Have not I, the Lord?  Now therefore, go, and I will be with our mouth and teach you what you shall say."  But he said, "Oh my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send."  Exodus 4:10-13

Poor Moses.  God gave him a great opportunity, more like a calling, and all Moses could do is think up excuses of why he is incapable of carrying out God's request.

I know how Moses must've felt.  To begin with, Moses had a past.  He was basically adopted, found out where he really came from, killed a man, and ran away from it all.  So for him to think that God was asking the wrong person to fulfill this mission of His is understandable.  Even after God said he would help him, Moses still tried to wiggle his way out of the job.  But Moses did have something no one else contained for this mission.  Moses had familiarity.  He knew who he was going to have to deal with, he knew the area, the circumstances, and he knew both sides of the story as an adopted Egyptian and a Jew.

Moses using his inability to be persuasive with speech is just a simple way of him saying to God, "After all that has happened, after all that I have been through, and after all that I have done, why would anyone want to listen to me?"  Moses didn't feel he had it in him to persuade not only his own people but a pharoah!  This was going to be too big for what he thought he could do. 

The majority of time, I feel such inadequency.  "Who am I to carry out such a big plan God?"  I find it so easy to make excuses of why I can't instead of trusting that God will show me how.  Just like Moses, my speaking talents are next to nil.  I get nervous, forget what I have to say and I'm like a little chihuahua that pees when startled.  (Just for the record;  I do not pee myself when I get nervous).  Other excuses I've used:

• I'm not smart enough.
• I don't have enough money.
• I'm not popular.
• I'm not pretty enough.
• I'm not tech savvy like most people.
• Look what I've done and where I've been.

God's response is, "Exactly.  That's why I'm sending you for this one."

First of all, God doesn't think any of the things that we make ourselves believe.  That job belongs to Satan and (unfortunately) he's pretty good at his job.  Second of all, follow through with the above verse:

"So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and He said; 'Is not Aaron the Levite your brother?  I know that he can speak well.  And look, he is also coming out to meet you.  When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart.  Now you shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth.  And I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and I will teach you what you shall do.  So he shall be your spokesman to the people.  And he himself shall be as a mouth for you, and you shall be to him as God."  Exodus 4:14-16

God has a solution to all the problems we think there are to God's plan.  So what if Moses couldn't speak well, but Aaron could.  All he needed to do was tell him what to say.

We think God is asking us to do this job alone and perfect but He is not.  We need help to carry out His plan and He will teach us in the areas we are weak so that we may follow through.  He already has all the people lined up in all the situations needed to fulfill the mission.  All you have to do is what God asks you to do.  Nothing more and nothing less.

Curb Appeal

A few weeks ago as I was driving home from church, I saw this turtle on the side of the road walking along the curb trying to find a way to get back to the water.  Of course, he needed a hero, so I made a u-turn and looked where I could park safely and get him back to the pond but by the time I made my way around, he was gone.  I had seen a man on a bicycle so I assumed he saved the day and got the turtle back to where he needed to be.  I went on my way and didn't think too much more about it until today.

I went to Celebrate Recovery, as I do every Friday evening, but decided to go home after the meeting because I was feeling a little tired.  As I was driving, I passed by where I originally saw the turtle and started to think about him and what he must of felt while on the side of the road.  Lost and confused....all he wanted was to get to a safe place but wasn't even sure he was going to make it.

So there I was, sympathizing with this turtle. How often have I felt that way?  Well I can say I feel that way right now.  Here I am, traveling on the side of the road unable to find the strength to get up over that curb and to where I need to be.  I feel alone and scared.  I question how I even got here in the first place.  Staying as close as I can to the curb so that I don't get harmed by all the hustle and bustle that is going alongside of me, I am wondering if someone will come along to pick me up and at least place me up over that curb so that I can continue onto my destination. 

But then I remember, that is why I go to places like Celebrate Recovery.  That's why I tell my deepest secrets to my closest friends.  That is why I join small groups through my church (Bayside) and that is why I write these things...to find the answers to my questions and hopefully answer yours as well.  All these things combined is a supernatural strength breathed by God to push me up over that curb so that I may be on my way. 

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I m your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

A Wish List For God

I hear that if you believe and have faith, God will make your dreams come true.  And not only will He make them come true, He will give you more than you could ever imagine.  So here it goes.....

Dear God,

Here is my wish list:

1.  I want to be a writer.  I don't care about being rich or famous but it would be nice to sustain a comfortable living. Although I am grateful for a job, retail isn't exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.

2.  I would love to donate.  I already got the animal shelter down, but they can use more help.  So can a mental health organization, and sponsoring someone at church who can't afford a retreat or missions trip would be nice too.

3.  You know I am not materialistic but I do miss my beautiful beautiful truck.  Actually an SUV would be better.  That way I can make a comfortable area for the dogs and we can travel around the country writing stories based on what we see and then making our way to CA to spend time with the family.  I can sleep in the truck as I am sure Tracy will not allow the dogs to sleep in her home.  Maybe You can work with her about that.

4.  Owning a home again would be great!  I would love to foster everything from birds to reptiles until they find a forever home.

5.  An opportunity to spend long weekends volunteering at various shelters would be awesome.  Then write about the experiences.

6.  Pet therapy for the elderly.  How great would it be to bring a furry, feathered, or scaley visitor to brighten their day?

7.  I would love to get married again.  But Lord, I only want someone who has the same heart for You as I do.  Less is not acceptable.

8.  If any of these dreams are not meant to be....how about helping me to find a way to visit my father's grave.  I would like to see it at least once in my lifetime.

I understand that there is nothing that is too small or too big for you God.  These are the things that are laying on my heart.  And to be honest Lord, I am need for a little dream come true.  It may appear there is quite a bit of selfishness, but I gaurantee it's all to be used for Your glory.  The thing is, I can't do anything on my own.  I get overwhelmed so easily and lose focus too quickly and fear and anxiety are holding me hostage.  I need help.  I need help with motivation and I need help with direction.   So please help me.  Thank you for helping me:

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11


Love always,

Theresa, your tattooed Princess.

Dinosaur Of A Sin

Most of us have seen that movie Jurassic Park.  And we all get a giggle during that part where the mathametician is on the back of the jeep hurt and the female paleantologist is driving like the wind to escape a Tyrannosauraus Rex chasing them.  She looks in her mirror to see how far behind he is and, this is where we laugh a little bit, we see written on the mirror, "Objects May Appear Closer Than They Really Are," and we see a very close up version of a T-Rex causing her to panic a little and drive a little faster.

When we make a decision to live a new life in Jesus,we jump into our jeep and start driving away from the sin that is chasing us.  We look into the sideview mirror and it seems to be right at our heels when really it's a lot farther away.  The Devil uses this "tricky" mirror to make us believe we are not moving along too far when in fact we are maintaining quite a safe distance. All we need to do is keep driving to our destination.  Resist looking in that "tricky" mirror and keep your eyes on the road ahead.

"Bretheren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.  I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."   Phillipians 3:13-14