You Bark Too Much

So I am sitting in Venue and as I was listening to the music, what pops in my head?  My dog Miko.  Yes....my dog.  I swear there is a point to this.

I started thinking about his barking.  His incessant barking.  Loud, ear-piercing, and just never ending.  I thought about how I am always telling him to be quiet when he barks and this is what played out in my head:

"Miko!  Stop barking!"
"Be quiet!"
"Miko!"
"Quiet buddy!"
"There is nothing there!"
"Stop barking!"
"Miko!"
"Stop barking Theresa!"
"Quiet!"
"There is nothing there Theresa!"
"Theresa!"
"That's enough!"
"Quit it! And stop barking!"

Yeah....that's how it played out. So often I am telling my dog to be quiet because nothing is there and tonight as I sat in Venue Service....God was telling me the same thing.  He was telling me to listen to Him and I can't do that if I keep barking.  There are time where you just have to take a vow of silence, not voice your opinions and allow God to step in and take over. 

"If you have been foolish in exalting yourself, Or if you have devised evil, put your hand on your mouth."  Proverbs  30:32

Basically, shut it and listen up. 

The Power Of Love

Love.  What an obsession we seem to have with it.  It's such a small word but it holds so much power.  Books have been written about it.  Movies have been made. Songs are sung about it and the foundation of God is about how much He loves us and what He was willing to do for us because of it as well as teaching us to show the same love to others in His name. He even says it's the greatest of all things:
" And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
 1 Corinthians 13:13

As I listened to the songs during worship today at church, every song mentioned love. The book I am reading is about how love can turn even the most endearing of people into villians.  Love.  We all crave it but many of us turn it away.  Love can cause a damge so severe that it becomes unwanted.  When we have it, we feel rich and when we lose it, we feel betrayed.  Does love know it's the center of all things?  Does it realize it can destroy just as easily it can build up? 

Could I be so bold to admit that love defeated me?  I opened myself up to it, felt it and then it was snatched from me like a vapor in the wind.  My heart became void and vulnerable making it easy for the enemy to swoop in and plant fear, bitterness and suspicion deep within its' walls.  In all honesty, I can understand how one could become callous when they have lost such a powerful force.  I fear it and will not allow it in for I know what it can do.  Why would I take a risk of feeling...that pain...that pain that broke my heart in two, leaving it unmendable.  How could I ever trust love again?

As powerful as love is, people misuse it.  They take advantage of it.  They use it to trick others and they give little respect to the very thing for which all of life is based upon.  Love.  Do we really know the meaning of it?  God gives us a direct defintion of it:
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;   does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;   does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;   bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So simple yet we reject it, blame it, and set out to destroy it.  And yet, even though it can leave us as empty shells, there is a little light hidden deep within us, just bright enough to hold out hope that love will return and make us whole again.  A flame no bigger than a grain of sand but mighty enough to fight for it.  Alert enough to watch out for it and strong enough to grab hold of it once again and never allowing it to escape. 

Love.  God created it so that we may know Him. The devil uses it to make us crumble.  And as God does for all things, He gives us a choice about it.  When love is put in front of you;  will you accept it or will you turn it away?  Will you embrace it or fear it?  When the devil tries to use it against you, will you use it against him?  Will it become your friend or your enemy?  Love....

Meek Does Not Equal Doormat.

"Blessed are the meek, For they shall inerit the earth."  Matthew 5:5

As I read this verse in my devotional last night, I started to ponder the words "meek" and "inherit".  I know what they mean but I decided to look them up anyways to get a deeper understanding of the verse.

Meek:  "Enduring injury with patience and without resentment."

Isn't that the way we try to live as Christians?  We are often insulted, mocked, bullied, and ostracized and we endure this with forgiving and patient hearts....at least we are suppose to. 

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."  Luke 23:34

Inherit:  "to come into possession of or receive especially as a right or divine portion"

God gives us our share of Heaven when we remain faithful to Him and follow Him.  As I kept thinking about this verse, I couldn't help but laugh a little.  I kept thinking of those movies where there is an underdog that everyone would push around but at the end of the movie, the underdog would come out on top and those who bullied him would be left in the dust with nothing but humiliation and bruised egos.

Being meek, it's hard define the difference between healthy boundaries and being a doormat.  God's not telling us to allow others to push us around.  I believe what He is saying is not to stoop to the other's level of insult and injury.  They are lost souls in need of examples of love through us.  But we also must protect ourselves and remove ourselves from any harmful situation that could tear us away from God, all while having the mindset of always praying for our enemies.  We do not need to judge or "teach them a lesson."  That's God's job.  All we need to do is follow in God's teachings of how to live our lives....His way. 

To Forget You So Easily Is Impossible.

How do you do it?
How do you attempt to walk back into my life
Unknown to the pain you caused.

You say you are sorry.
You apologized for not being the man you were supposed to be.
I heard it all before
And the meaning is very little.

I asked for my heart back
And you gave it to me
But you must've stolen a little piece
Because I do not feel whole.

You asked how could I forget you so easily
When the truth is
There isn't a day that hasn't gone by where you weren't put in my thoughts
Even if it be for just a second.

I wish I could forget you so easily.
Just erase it all.
The good.
The bad.
Why couldn't it have been a bad dream?

My heart grows weary of you.
You opened that wound
And it stings more than ever.

Why?
How come?
What is it that you want?

I cry out to God
To take the pain of you away.
And yet you are still lingering here;
Taunting me with your words.

I cry out to God,
"Do I not belong to another?
Have you made no other for me?
Why does he lay in my mind?"

Don't make me blame you
For the fears that I have.
Because of you
I trust no other.
Because of you
I refuse to be loved.
Because of you
I see your kind as dangerous.

I have forgiven you
And I have released you
And I have released myself from the anger.
But you keep coming back
Right when you are about to fade.

To forget you so easily,
It is impossible.
For there is something that will keep us tied forever.

You have stolen a piece of my heart
And I am not whole.
Give me back what you have taken.
It's not yours.
Give it completely back.
Because it's suppose to belong to another.
God can't give him to me
Because I am not whole.
It's not fair
And it's not right.

Just let me go.
Allow me to trust.
Allow me to have someone come near me.
It will only be a fairy tale for me
Until I am whole.