I was chit chatting with a friend last night and payed them a compliment about what a hard worker they are and how they are such an inspiration. I can honestly say I was taken a little aback when they replied with a question if I was joking with them. They went on to explain how they have a fews friends that give them a little bit of a hard time for doing what they do. I sat there wondering, how many people are giving them a hard time that they now question a compliment? At the same time, I sympathized with them. My ex-husband would often say to me that people were only nice to me because they felt sorry for me that I was retarded. Yep....he said that....word for word. Obviously it left a lasting impression because I heard that over and over and over again for many years so it comes to no surprise that when someone pays me a compliment, I get highly suspicious of their intentions even when there are none except for the mere fact they do actually mean what they say. At first, my reaction was similar to my friend, "Are you kidding me? I am not pretty. I am not smart. I am not capable. You're crazy!" Yes...I have actually said to people they were crazy for saying what they were saying. But after a while I started to figure out that people weren't just trying to be nice to me. They meant what they said and I began to learn to say the words, "Thank you. That is a nice compliment." Now I don't think my friend underwent the kind of verbal abuse that my ex-husband afforded to me, but as I said before, they heard it enough times to question the genuinity of a compliment and my heart went out to them. This subject matter got me...you guessed it....thinking.
There comes a point in some of our lives where what we are doing is just not working anymore. We make a decision to turn our lives over to God generally knowing that our lives are going to become a little more difficult before it gets better. We face a lot of opposition, question our fate, question the next step, and are often discouraged and left feeling hopeless wondering if we made the right decision. But we press on regardless because we know God's way is still better than the life we lived before. It just takes time and we are just patient enough to wait the transition out. All of a sudden we are put under a microscope; torn apart if we step out of place. Our beliefs and faith become questioned, we are called snobs, holyrollers, and Jesus Freaks, and we are pushed around, sometimes by those closest to us because we decided to take that second chance that God offered. The same one that is offered them. The same exact second chance, but they were too chicken to take it and we weren't. So they make fun, make us doubt and break our hearts.
When we say we are Christian, most people think we think of ourselves as better than or perfect. If they only knew. Generally the first three years of a marriage can be tough. You are getting to know one another's dislikes, likes, habits and routines. Becoming a Christian is no different. It takes time for us to figure out our new lives. What will work for us, what won't, where our ministry is at, and...sad to say...what we need to let go of so that we may not fall. Perfect? No. We struggle on a daily basis to do the right thing, sometimes live in fear of failing, and fighting often to find where we fit in all the while we are being persecuted for our new found beliefs, made to trip from time to time, and attacked by evil forces that do not want to see us succeed. Holyrollers? You got it. Jesus Freaks? Thank you for noticing. A snob? That we are not because although we are given a hard time...we will still love and pray for they know not what they do.
None of us should have to question the pureness of someone's kindness and yet we live in a world that is going to try and chew us up and spit us out. Often we will be made to believe that we should just give up, that we are not good enough, and that we are just chasing a dream. Well to those people who desire to see us fail, this is what I have to say:
"Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." Romans 12:19
I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound good for those who mess with us...but hey good luck with that!
And to those of you who took the second chance:
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9
Never lose heart. God is on your side.
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