And One Day He Did

Saturday evening I attended church service and my lovely friend gave a sermon titled, "One Day."  Her sermon was based upon the story of the man who was unable to walk and hung out near the gate called Beautiful begging for money until one day, Jesus healed him and he was finally able to walk after so many years.  He went about the town praising with glee and many were amazed by what they saw.

This sermon has stayed in my head and this evening I was brought back to my "One Day."  In a few months, it will be two years that I sat in my apartment alone, lost, and confused....crying out to God He had one last chance to fix it all.  And One Day He did. 

Just like the crippled man, I was crippled by my past, my fears, my shortcoming, my anger, my guilt, my shame and my sin.  Jesus brought me to the place where I would find forgiveness and freedom and I too danced with glee for all to see what He has done for me.  But somewhere along the way, my praise fizzled out and I became lost again.  I was half in the light and half in the dark.  I had this new found freedom but just like a captive animal set free....I wasn't sure where to go or what to do.  Along the way, I have had my moments where I was able to share my story....but for some reason, it didn't seem enough.  Although in the moment I was applaused for my transparency, I still felt overlooked.  But the truth was, I wasn't the one that was overlooked.  It was God.  And I was the one walking past Him.

The things I have done so far weren't enough because I hadn't made God enough.  What more did I and do I really need?  In January of 2011, I opened my heart long enough for God to come in and start a power in me that would take over and take me away from the old me that was living in misery and pain and bring me to place of love and opportunity.  In One Day and in One Moment, He took over for I didn't have enough strength to continue...and I knew it.  And even when I felt the moment fizzle out, God continued Everyday to save me, wait for me, and follow me around so that I may find who I really am.

"It is in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for."  Ephesians 1:11

Ministry isn't something we do or a place we have to be at.  It's something that lies within us.  Something that we allow out so others may take notice and desire what we have. 

Do I question my purpose?  All the time, but I have come to the point where I have no need to worry about such a thing.  He has already used me so I doubt He is finished with me.

"...It's a wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."  Phillipians 4:6-7