Wasted Time

I have been feeling out of sorts lately.  Confronted with a complicated dilemma, I finally decided to turn to my mother.  Without going in to full detail, I did confine in her some feelings of worthlessness, frustration, and anger.  I would go on stating how I thought it was unfair  I was in the position that I am while my ex-husband seemed to be living "the good life."  After all, it's because of him that I am where I am at.  Not that I am completely ungrateful.  All my basic needs are met plus a little more, but he left me scarred, scared, and having to pick up pieces still even after three years of divorce.  I continued with my rant to her about how I was finally able to save money and feeling like progress is being made in my life but then "things" come up and I am back where I started from and the man who was so mean to me for so many years seemed to be off the hook with not a care in the world that he damaged me.  "So unfair," I would repeatedly tell her. 

Fully expecting her to go into the mommy mode of:

"Are you eating?"
"Do you need money?"
"Come home to your family."

She instead went in another direction:

"How do you know his life is so good?"
"Pray for him and feel sorry for him.  He's probably lost in the world while you know God."
"You read Job.  He lost everything before gaining everything back...and more."

I never expected that from her.  Then today I received a letter from her. She wrote an excerpt from a book she was reading and it went like this:

"Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production.  You will spend far more time on the other side of death - in eternity - than you will here.  Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity.  It is the practice workout before the actual game;  the warm-up lap before the race begins.  This life is preperation for the next.

At most, you will live a hundred years on earth, but you will spend forever in eternity.  Your time on earth is as Sir Thomas Browne said, "but a small parenthesis in eternity."  You were made to last forever.

God has a purpose for your life on earth, but it doesn't end here.  His plan involves far more than the few decades you will spend on this planet.  It's more than "the opportunity of a lifetime"; God offers you an opportunity beyond your lifetime.  Death will be the last hour of your time on earth, but it won't be the last of you.  Rather than being the end of your life, it will be your birthday into eternal life.  It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day."

I read this letter quite a few times while sitting there pondering every word on paper.  Finally, the first thought that came to my head was, "I'm wasting the time that is given me." 

Time wasted on a social media that (for me) often makes me feel subpar.  Time wasted plopping down in front of the T.V. watching shows that I have seen a hundred times. Time wasted on speaking ill of others instead of showing kindness. And time wasted, planning and plotting how I can be loved more and (pridefully) recognized.  Day after day as the clock is ticking, time is wasted on empty dreams of how I can change the world, quitting all good things I pretty much start because I am simply afraid of responsibility and disappointing others.  It's so much easier to do nothing than to try and fail....right? 

But after reading this letter, it seems foolish to live the limited time that was given in fear and unkindness.  Especially when I know the time here transitions into eternity where everything turns out to be...pretty ok. 

"It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day."  Those hours and minutes wasted on such things as Facebook, television, self-condemnation, and condemnation of others,  can best be best used to improve the quality of everyone's limited time on this planet. God has installed talents in each one of us to be thoughtfully used on a daily basis for the greater good.  Not on pointless rubbish.

As the saying goes, "Life is short."

Make it count.